It's Fall, I repeat in my head. Not winter. I love Fall, the leaves, the colors, the temperatures, the pumpkins, and crisp breezes. On October 14, I expect Fall, but as I stand in two inches of fluffy white snow, while I pick peppers out of the garden, I realize that my expectations are just that, mine.
The air is silent. Each snowflake drifts playfully to the ground. Wet and full of wonder they attach to my eyelashes and bits of hair that have come loose from under my knitted hat. Any other day, the task of harvesting food from my garden would be quick work. You would think on a day where the temperatures have plummeted into the upper 20's and my fingers are wet and numb from the cold, my work in the garden would be something to dread and I would quicken my pace.
Not today. Today I delicately trim each golden marigold from it's stem, slow and deliberate. I stop to watch the snowflakes dance through the air. I notice the birds flying overhead, escaping the cold. Instead of being cold and wet and dreary, I notice everything with clarity. I focus on the tiny green tomatoes draped in delicate layers of snowy lace. Each tomato is small, bright green, and fresh. Once again I realize that nothing can be planned with any real assurance, and that no matter how many careful plans we lay out for ourselves, it's ultimately not up to us how those plans occur.
The quiet blanketed world around me quickens my thoughts and I am reminded of the verse Isaiah 55:8-9, "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways", declares the Lord. "As the Heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways and my thoughts than your thoughts".
Our ways are not always God's ways. He has a divine plan for us that we can only trust the Lord to lead us. No matter what plans we make for ourselves, if it is not God's will, it will not be done. God always knows what's best for us.
Jeremiah 29:11 says, "For I know the plans I have for you', declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
I pick up yet another dejected orange bloom and breathe in the fragrance. Shake off the snow and think about how my to do list is long and never ending. I have to rip out the garden and winterize, I need to clean the house, meal plan, grocery shop, plan school, pay bills, and the list is overwhelming and endless. God knows that we need time to stop and listen to him. We need time to rest and focus on our surroundings. We need to admire our blessings and the work that God has put into our lives. He works tirelessly for us. Why don't we listen? How can we know better than our creator? Our thoughts cannot comprehend his divine thoughts, and our ways are selfish, unknown paths of our own sinful desires. Only God knows our needs, He hears our hearts and knows every hair on our head. Nothing can be more intimate than that. We have a Father that loves us, despite not listening to him, despite the fact that we are constantly disobeying him, and despite the fact that we are always trying to assert our own independence in this world.
God loves us and has a plan for each one of us. A plan far better than any of us know or could choose ourselves. Why is it such a challenge to stop and listen, to strain our ears to the heavens and wait for his command?
Today God knows my heart. He knows my exhaustion, and my overwhelming to do list. This snow is not an irritation. It is a blessing from God. A chance to curl up with my family in our warm, cozy home,
to slow down, sip my hot tea, and gaze at the beauty of each passing season. This early snow storm is an opportunity to realize that each day holds wonderous and beautiful things, that God has provided for us. No matter the day, find the blessings. Fill yourself up with the goodness the Lord provides. His plans are not to harm you but to fill you with hope and a future.
My boots crunch the fine layers of snow that have been quietly falling around me. I breathe in the cold air, and close my eyes and listen. The silence is exquisite. My soul swells like the breaking of a wave on the shoreline and I'm at peace, in God's loving grace.
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